Make a Wish…
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Sometimes you can’t help but feel like your entire world is dark. You lose your purpose and everyday you’d wake up feeling like there was a lack of motivation, or something in your life. You lose feelings that you think will never come back, and you disappear in your own world. Sleep was an escape, and sometimes it was a reminder of what you were running from. Waking up gasping for air, or screaming because some memories still haven’t gone away. There is a pain deep inside of you that no one really notices because hiding the way that you feel is easier than trying to explain it. As soon as someone finds out, they give sympathy and thats the last thing that you even want. There is no way you can show someone, there is no escaping from your own mind. Smiling and cracking the occasional joke got you through the day most of the time. Everyone was so easy to fool. Wake up from the 4 hours of sleep that you got (if you were lucky), roll over to start another long day, eat if you felt up to it, do the things that everyone expects from you, then sleep some more because that is all you can get yourself to do. Every day drags on and on and you hope that maybe one day something bad will happen to you, an accident. Because you don’t want to play the selfish card and put your family through a suicide that would shatter them. But maybe, just maybe an accident would happen, and you would no longer have to exist on this earth, and no one can say that you were selfish.
This is exactly what its like on a daily basis to live with depression. This is what its like to wake up and feel lost. And if you’re lucky, someday you can pull yourself out of it for a while until it decides to attack you again.
for the sake of acceptance
kamptay